Pro Screenplays COVERAGE
TYPE:
SP
TITLE: -------
WRITER: -------
LENGTH: 116 pages
DATE: -------
ANALYST: Scott
Parisien
Logline:
A troubled ex-convict haunted by his past tries to
settle back to regular life, but when his brother is brutally murdered over a
gambling debt, he exacts a plan of revenge that will affect everyone along his blood
soaked path to redemption.
Brief:
It has been
a long time since I have read script where a writer has such a distinctive
voice. The subject matter and storyline are not
overly original, but the writer makes the journey strongly enjoyable due to the
careful attention to detail, deep character development and original voice he
employs in his script. Very well done.
Excellent Good
Fair
Poor
Concept
X
SYNOPSIS:
CHARLIE "SLIM" HENDRICK, late twenties,
liquored up and covered in someone elses blood, sits slumped over outside an old
weathered farmhouse. SHERIFF MULBY
NOLAN, who recognizes Slim and seems put off at what he may have done now, picks
him up and drags him away, as we watch the dirt and dust blow across the small
town.
It's four years later in Southern
Indiana, 1985, and Slim is released from prison. His first stop is a greasy spoon for a
cup of coffee and some grub, before refusing a free ride from a trucker, adamant
on walking the twenty miles home.
Slim arrives back to his modest ranch-style homestead, where we are quick
to meet his brother RAYMOND, who is all about putting the "ass" in class. The
love loss and discomfort between the two is more than apparent as they each
settle in for the long haul.
A month has passed and Slim is hard at
work for a RANCHER, working as much as he can, staying out of trouble and
keeping to himself. Over the next
few weeks Slim tries his best to retrieve some kind of connection with Raymond,
but his brother won't give him an inch.
One night Slim shows up to JILLY'S EAT & REST, where the owner and
local bookie JOHN O'RILEY leads him to a beaten, bloody and hurt Raymond out
back. John lets Slim know how
Raymond lost a couple more grand on the horses and he needs it to be paid. Slim says he'll try to take care of
it. John's daughter GABBY O'RILEY,
who melts and freezes at the same time when she sees that Slim is back, helps
get Raymond into the truck and home to recover. Just as they leave, a Blue Cutlass pulls
up to Jilly's and BUD DEAKINS enters their quiet little world. He brings with him SAM NEBRASKA, the
ugliest and most unsettling man to come to town in a long while, and together
they speak to John about how his numbers have been a little thin and how the
boss isn't happy. John tries to
tell them he's not skimming from the take, but before he can state his case, Sam
steps in with his boxcutter and punches a hole in John's throat that bleeds him
lifeless. Sam enjoys the deed as an
artist would enjoy his canvas and they slip away from the grizzly scene
unnoticed.
Slim and Gabby share an awkward moment in
the truck. Something is there
between them, a past unfinished, but she slips away before anything can be
spoken about. Back at Jilly's, Bud
and Sam discuss collection strategy in the parking lot and the very first name
at the top of the book is Raymond Hendrick...
Sheriff Nolan is woken up by a late night
phone call, and the alcohol has really done a number, aging him ten years in the
short four since we last saw him.
He has a rough cough and washes it away with a fresh bottle of
bourbon. Sheriff stops at his
mothers where he helps her to have a bath, the routine somehow a comfort to
him.
Raymond and Slim share breakfast and
Raymond is far past worse for wear.
Slim gives him a thousand in cash to start paying John back and Raymond
explodes. He's sick of Slim feeling
guilty for going to prison and thinking he has to somehow make it up to him and
he storms out. Meanwhile Sheriff
Nolan picks up young BRADY O'RILEY, naked and passed out in the bushes, and
takes him home to his sister Gabby, where he asks some questions about their
father John's disappearance, who they report never came home the night
before. Nolan and Gabby touch on a
personal history as well, but theirs seems to be more dormant than that between
her and Slim. At the same time, Sam
Nebraska and Bud Deakins kidnap Raymond.
As Slim arrives home, Nolan is waiting and he questions Slim about
Raymond as a suspect in John’s disappearance -- as Raymond is questioned by
Deakins about his gambling debt while Sam beats the living shit out of Raymond,
literally. To a pulp. Until he's dead. It means nothing more to them than some
rough work, as they drive away and leave him covered in blood in the middle of
nowhere, waiting for the buzzards to do their
work.
Raymond's body is found the next day by a
passing Deputy and Nolan is the one who has to pass the news on to Slim. The funeral proceeds and Slim stays cold
and guarded. He scatters ashes at
the farmhouse, sits stone faced in his room, wanders the house aimlessly, and
finally ends up in the basement where he grabs a shotgun as we fade to
black.
Slim pulls into the local diner parking
lot, grabs Brady and heads off on a mission to get information on John O'Riley's
business. They end up in a
confrontation with a fat body named CULLEN MEANAN who used to collect for
John. He gets the upper hand but
with surprising skill, Slim gets it back and we finally see the black eyed dog
in behind Slim's eyes. They get
another lead of a man named TERRY ADAMS, and head
off.
We meet JONAH FINN, Raymond's Godfather
and an antique gun repairman, as Slim continues on his trail of hunting and
discovery. Slim tells him about his
trek to find the men who killed his brother. Jonah wants to join him, help exact
revenge, but Slim won't have the old man tagging along... until Jonah tells him
he's dying, and Jonah isn't a man who wants to die in bed. Slim tells him they're leaving tomorrow
and a crooked smile crosses the old man's
face.
Slim is back at home and Gabby shows up
to scold him for taking the chance of going back to jail, and warns him not to
drag Brady into his personal war -- John O'Riley's body has been found. Slim grabs Jonah and they head out of
town, but are stopped by Nolan before they cross the tracks. Slim and Nolan have a confrontation that
is more about their lot in life with Gabby than it is about Slim's path to
vengeance. But Slim and Jonah head
out of town as Jonah spouts off old stories of cock an' pussy. And at their next stop they find they
aren't alone as Brady's been following them and is apt to join their little
hunting party, whether Slim likes it or not.
Upon arriving in the town they find Terry
Adams, who is reluctant to talk, but Slim can be very persuasive. He tells Slim that the men Slim's
looking for are Sam Nebraska and Bud Deakins, and he tells Slim a horror story
about Sam's inhuman brutality, which is what made him step out of the business
in the first place.
Slim, Jonah and Brady find the bar where
Sam and Bud are known to sleep. We
meet Sam's brother RICHIE, the head of the pack, and Slim and Brady enter the
barm, guns drawn and attitudes serious.
They ask for Sam and Bud, and guns are quickly aimed back at them. Jonah has snuck around back to find Sam,
and just when the old man thinks he has him, Sam's behind Jonah's back and blows
two holes through his stomach. The
gunshots erupt panic below and Slim ends up blasting holes in a couple of guys,
including Sam's brother Richie.
Slim banishes Brady to hide in the washroom and has a shootout against
Bud, who takes a bullet and leaves Slim standing in the centre of a pool of dead
bodies. He quickly finds Jonah
upstairs and manages to escape a fist fight with Sam, who slips away and ends
the battle. Jonah takes a last
breath and dies in Brady's arms, driving Brady to cry, ashamed and spent. Sam searches the premises for Sam, but
is distracted when Brady slips upstairs on the overflowing tub and sails down
through the ceiling and slams to the floor below. Sam bursts in and gets the jump on Slim,
and as he is about to bring the boxcutter down, Brady surprises him with a hole
in the stomach from a Winchester and he falls to the ground, bleeding out. Sirens wail, Slim and Brady slip out,
and the police arrive to find only dead bodies... except for Sam who isn't quite
ready to die.
Back home, Slim buries the Winchester,
resumes his work in the fields and seems to be at peace. The travelling fair has come to town and
Gabby and Slim dance, finally get close, as Sheriff Nolan watches with anger
from afar. Slim and Gabby head home
and make love. In the afterglow
they speak of their past and present and possible future, and the vulnerability
of Sam takes over and he cries for all that he has done and all that he has
lost. The next morning Nolan shows
up to question Slim about the killings at the bar. Slim and Nolan get into it and their
fight becomes more about Gabby than any killings at a bar. Gabby comes out and rushes to Slim's
side which angers Nolan even more and he storms off, saying he won't be stepping
in front of the authorities when they come to find the gunman from the
bar.
Time passes by and Slim settles into this
new life with Gabby in the farmhouse he has always wanted to buy, with Brady and
Gabby's son in tow. She also has a
new baby on the way, but has yet to tell Slim. But she won't have the chance as Nolan
stops by again to tell them someone survived that night at the bar, Sam
Nebraska, and he's in a hospital north of town. Slim and Brady are alarmed, and Slim
prepares to leave town, with everyone he cares for. But what they don't know is that Sam has
already checked out of the hospital, remembering the names spoken that night in
the bar, and he has already painted a blood red war path on his way to find Slim
and Brady.
As Slim gets supplies in town, Sam has
arrived at the farmhouse, and he quickly puts two holes into Brady, and spots
Gabby alone in the backyard, the howling wind blocking the sound of the bullets
inside. But she turns at the last
moment to see Sam, and she is alone in all that can be done to her. Slim returns to the house too late and
finds Brady, bleeding and fading, half way out the back door, and all of his
nightmares flood his eyes as Gabby lies lifeless under a message for Slim,
painted on the farmhouse wall in her own blood. Nolan arrives and learns of what's
happened to Gabby and in a mixture of anger and sadness, the two men mourn the
only woman they have ever loved.
And just then Sam Nebraska returns to finish the job. But these two men, one from the law, the
other his opposite, join forces and open fire to spit vengeance at the devil
himself. Dozens of bullets fly and
Slim and Nolan both get hit. Nolan
tries to crawl away but Sam gets him and ends it with a close shot to the
head. He thinks it's all done but
sees two eyes near his car. He
heads down and as he gets close enough he sees it's actually Slim's dog,
dead. Slim, from behind, utters
Sam's name and Sam turns to meet the WA-BOOM of a shotgun as Slim ends it for
Sam once and for all. But Slim is
hurt bad and he hits the ground, spent, empty,
finished.
And we end with a final scene, some years
later, with Slim healed and Gabby's son Ben at his side. As he heads back to the house he sees
Brady and his girlfriend cuddling on the porchswing, and he smiles and heads
into the house, the black eyed dogs behind his eyes finally tamed and
silenced.
COMMENTS:
The Low Dweller is a dark, character
driven dramatic thriller that deals with the carnal instinct of revenge when
someone we are truly connected to is removed from our life. It is poignant, visceral and a story
with themes that everyone can identify with.
The pacing of this script is bang on and
moves at an intense clip, and even though the first act can be trimmed down, it
doesn't seem too long to get to the point when Raymond is killed, which
jettisons Slim into his new journey.
The real strength of this script and what really sets it apart are the
strong characters who speak with truth -- and even though it is written just as
choppy as it would be spoken, it doesn't distract, as it adds a sense of reality
to the characters. There
tends to be a few moments when the talking goes on without any real point, and
even though it is clever and paints these characters and scenes in our minds,
trimming these out would not take anything away from the story, and move us
along that much quicker. This would
also take the page count under 110, which would play much
better.
My favorite moments of the script are
those when Slim's vulnerability really puts him in a position where his true
nature underneath, the one he guards and hides away from the world, shines
through. The scenes where he cries
after making love with Gabby, and when he speaks of that fateful night that put
him in prison really make Slim a character we identify with and make us want to
see him pull this off and get through it all with a sense of redemption for all
he has done wrong in the past to the people he
loves.
The ending is harsh and leaves a sick
feeling in your stomach, but it works.
It feels like it has to happen.
It was a tad predictable as the dread was there and we knew the bad winds
were coming, but the way it was orchestrated makes it feel complete and
right. The final scene did leave me
a little off as I was unsure if it was reality, or a glimpse of the afterlife
with Slim, since I felt Brady had surely died. But without Gabby there, it felt as if
this living hell is something Slim will have to live
with.
With shades of Cormac McCarthy and the
Coen's NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, this script stays with you and the characters
become a part of your life, even after the quick read. The good and the bad and the paths and
choices the characters take make this script a true testament to talent in a
writer that stands out and a voice you want to hear
again.
GRADE:
Consider